Paradise Garden
by Jellyfax
Summary: AU Destiel - The year is 1913 and something nasty is brewing in Europe, troubled Russian aristocrat Castiel Novak goes to stay with his cousins in England to escape the turmoil of his own country. Meanwhile American immigrant Dean Winchester has arrived in Britain in search of work to support his brother back home, when their paths meet nothing will be the same again.
1. Chapter 1

**So this fic just kinda happened, I started writing and I couldn't stop, I had to stop myself to get food and drink, it was bad, it's not finished yet, not by a long stretch and I have a sneaking suspicion it might be a really long one … anyway, I was kinda drugged on Vaughan Williams when writing this and the first chapter at least really works well with The Lake in the Mountains and later on The Lark Ascending. It's going to be a bit of a slow burn and I'm not totally sure of the ending yet but I hope you enjoy it! Oh and the title is based on another piece of music I was listening to while writing, gold star if you can guess the composer!**

**I OWN NOTHING**

**Music Note – Ralph Vaughan Williams – The Lark Ascending & The Lake in the Mountains**

_**spn-spn-spn-spn**_

It was foggy, foggy like he hadn't seen before. It wasn't thick and icy like he was used to, it didn't hang in the air and deaden the sound like back home, it was silky and seemed to flow over the lightly rolling hills with ease. He could make out the dark shape of woodland spread out before him as the carriage cluttered over the crown of a hill, the weak morning sunlight had been slowly igniting the landscape with a strange fire, the orange glow caught in the fog and the fields smouldered. Their decline into the valley obscured his view with a tall hedgerow, Castiel closed his eyes for a moment, his thoughts drifting back home. Home was confusing concept to him, while his ancestral house had been where he spent his childhood he had always felt that wherever his family were was home, and while his sister was often there his father had been absent for years. He would disappear to St Petersburg and Moscow with little or no warning, often for months at a time, sending the odd letter here and there. He knew that his absences were vital, he was needed for the politics, there was trouble brewing and the country was bristling. That was why he had left, call it cowardly but Castiel was afraid, the people were unhappy and that meant trouble, the nobility had to sort it before they started to revolt, France had proven that to be all too real an eventuality. He shivered slightly, he had felt awful leaving Anna, he had tried to convince her to come with him but it had been a futile attempt, she felt that she could help in some way and she was far too stubborn to be reasoned with.

He felt his face grow warmer as the carriage turned into the sunlight, he opened his eyes and looked at the familiar surroundings. The fog had lifted to reveal a blue sky and the road was lined with trees, they were somewhere along the three mile lead up to the house. The deer grazing between the trees startled as the carriage drove past and Castiel smiled, he loved the animals, nature had always been a comfort to him and out here he was surrounded by it. When he was younger he and his cousins would get lost in the woods around the manor, climbing the trees and running through the gardens. Even as they grew up and Michael became more distant, even Gabriel started to prefer spending time out in society, mostly for the women, but even now Castiel would rather take a long walk than go any society function.

The house loomed in the distance, it was an impressive sight in the morning sun. It was made of light stone, the large, oak doorway was in the centre of the long gallery with the three storey towers on either side. From what he could remember there was a courtyard in the middle and the formal gardens were around the back. He always preferred the woodland and the fields around the house to the gardens, as impressive as they were, there was something about how rugged the grounds were that couldn't be matched by any gardener in the world. As they drew closer Castiel could make out the individual windows and the creepers that snaked their way around them, a large one with red leaves framed the doorway while smaller green ones smothered the west side walls.

The wheels crunched to a stop on the stones outside the front of the house. He stepped out of the carriage and paused for a moment to take in his surroundings, the air was still cold and fresh and he could hear a blackbird singing in the distance, a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, he had always loved the English countryside, he rarely visited but when he did it filled him with such a feeling of peace, it was so green and full of life, the little villages were still very backwards in their ways, a far cry from the grey smog of the Capital and a lot further from his troubles in St Petersburg. He sighed, nodded to the coachman as he pulled away and headed towards the house. The large doors were opened to him and he stepped into the large tiled entrance hall, he paused again and smiled, it had been too long.

The footmen bustled past him with his trunks and cases, he was thanking them as he heard a voice from upstairs.

"Castiel?" the voice called, "Castiel is that you?"

He let out a small throaty chuckle as his cousin descended the staircase, grinning broadly.

He stuck out his hand, "Gabriel, you look well"

"I wish I could say the same about you little cousin, you look dead on your feet" He took the hand and shook it vigorously slapping his shoulder affectionately.

Castiel smiled wearily "It has been a long journey."

"Well of course it has," he smiled warmly back at him, "Come, we shall have some late breakfast, you look like you need it."

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

The ship's engines had died down at least an hour ago, he knew that he was only third class but Dean Winchester was wondering why on earth it was taking so long to get out of the godforsaken metal bin that had been his vessel for the last week. He hated boats, stuck inside with the swaying and only portholes to provide any sort of link to the outside world. Of course if he had had the money to he could have gone first class and walked up on the decks, had plenty of room to move and dance and get obscenely drunk with aristocrats. But that wasn't Dean, he had barely scraped enough to get him across, he was going to have to save up for Sam's trip, maybe get him a second class ticket so that he would be more comfortable. Someone shouted something incoherent and people waiting towards the front started to move forwards. Thank God for that.

Outside he was greeted with a grey, salty city covered in thick blanket of smog. He adjusted his cap and walked down the slick plank onto the pier. He could smell the fish from the trawlers and the faint smell of the ironworks in the distance, he could hear the bells of the cathedral, dampened by the smog, drifting over the city. He trudged through the wakening city, the cobbles slick under his feet, he breathed in deeply, the scent of stale smoke fresh bread caught his nostrils and he smiled, breakfast was always a reason to smile. He followed the smell to a small street near the station, the trains were honking as they departed, clouds of smoke billowing and rising to join the lifting smog. The bakery was tiny and tucked away down a back street with the charming name _Skelhorne_. Dean shoved his hands into his pockets and found a couple of English pennies and stepped inside. The bakery was warm and smelled fantastic, mouth watering he asked the baker for a roll. The man raised an eyebrow, "Just off the boat are we, Yank? And what brings you to Liverpool, my friend?"

Dean smiled wryly, "Business."

The man chuckled and looked him up and down again, "Not likely dressed like that son, what _business _is it that you are involved in? That'll be thruppence by the way."

The pennies clattered on the counter, "I'm a mechanic," the man's brow arched as he went on, "I worked on the railways for a while but automobiles are all the rage back home now, so I tried my hand at fixing a few up."

"You won't find many of them _automobiles _around here, if that's what you're thinking."

"Things aren't so good back home and I thought I'd try my hand over here, they say it's all green and the toffs are willing to pay for labourers, especially as there can't be many automobile mechanics over here yet."

The man laughed again, "You'd be right there, I haven't heard of n'earn a one, you'd be best going down to London, try your luck there."

Stepping back outside he noticed the sky had turned a darker shade of grey and it was spitting with rain. So much for England's green and pleasant land, he scoffed.

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

After breakfast Castiel and Gabriel retired to the billiards room, Gabriel lit up a cigar, Castiel declined, smoking had never appealed to him, it didn't taste right and left him feeling light-headed.

"So where is Michael, I was expecting to find him here, not you … not that you being here isn't splendid, just a tad unexpected, this is his house after all."

"My dear fellow, you are unlikely to find Michael in Castle Ashby for more than a week at a time, he has been spending more time in London, he has a townhouse there and Lady Compton much prefers to be amongst her society birds than out here."

Castiel sighed and shook his head, since becoming Earl, Michael had had to fill his father's very large shoes and finding a wife was top priority, however the marriage was definitely more convenience than love. He remembered there had been a girl once who Michael had set his sights on, but she had refused him, she didn't want the life he would have had to lead. He wasn't the same man after that.

"I've been meaning to ask, how was your ride from the station? I know it's a fair way but the carriage shouldn't have taken much more than an hour?"

"No, it was pleasant, nice to get away from the smoke and the people."

Gabriel chuckled and inhaled another puff of his cigar, "You were never the sociable type were you Cas?"

Castiel shuddered slightly at the memory of the journey from Russia. While it had been comfortable enough he had felt trapped, there was nowhere he could go to be away from people and the air was so stale at times it was stifling.

Gabriel coughed, a welcome distraction from his thoughts, "So I was thinking about going into the village later, I have some errands that I would rather run myself, it would be good for you to get some air and stretch your legs."

Castiel nodded, the village was a small, quaint place, it had a few shops, a post office and a Church, but most importantly to Castiel the walk was through the countryside, not another soul to be found for miles.

"Can we walk?" he asked.

Gabriel raised a blonde eyebrow and smirked, "If you want, little cousin, but it's a fair walk and you'll have to put up with me for the next two hours."

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

They set out around one, walking back down the avenue of trees Castiel had come along earlier that day. The deer had fled back into the trees but the birds were singing, the sky was reasonably clear with the odd few clouds and the sun was warm. There was a light, fragrant breeze blowing from the south, it tousled his dark hair and ruffled his coat. He smiled, this was what he needed. He could hear Gabriel talking at him but he found his thoughts drifting, he loved the way the leaves dappled the light, tinting it summer green. He loved the sound of the different birds, the English birds sounded so different to the ones back home, their songs less melancholy, brighter and sweeter than anything he had yet to hear.

"What do you think Cas … Castiel?" He looked back to see Gabriel frowning at him, "Castiel, were you even listening?"

Cas laughed brightly and shook his head, "Sorry Gabriel, it's just been so long since I've been here, 's forgotten how much I love it."

Gabriel's face softened and he smiled, "I was just saying how I was thinking of acquiring an automobile." Castiel eyed him quizzically, "I mean, they are all the rage in London and I hear the Americans are besotted with them but Michael is such a stickler for tradition he insists on keeping the stables and taking the carriage everywhere. I would personally love to have one, what do you think?"

"I think that if it makes you happy, cousin, then you should invest in what you want."

"Ever the diplomat Castiel" He chuckled and they walked in silence for a while.

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

It had been a week or so before Dean had any luck finding work, he had spent the first night sleeping in the porch of a run-down east end pub, but after a night of little to no sleep in the dank, wet city he decided he would rather go hungry than spend another night like that. He found a cheap hostel and had asked around about automobiles, he had seen quite a few on the streets but had yet to find anyone who would take him on. London was vast and grey and the smog was thicker than it had been in Liverpool, he was thankful ,however, that it didn't smell of fish nearly as badly. On his third day he happened upon a young couple who were having trouble with their automobile, he grinned as he saw his opportunity. While dubious at first they were pleasantly surprised by his handiwork, thankfully it was a Ford Model T, he was used to working on them and it wasn't long before he had it up and running. They offered him some money but he declined, saying that the only payment he would need would be a few good words in the right places. The man smiled and tipped his hat, taking his name and where he was staying. The next few days were fairly busy, the young man had been good on his word and he had been contacted a few times for the odd job, the pay meant that he could stay in the hostel but he needed more than hand to mouth living if he was going to be able to bring Sammy over. That Saturday he was approached at the hostel by a gruff man in a flat cap, his lordship the Viscount Compton was looking for someone with good knowledge of automobiles to be a mechanic and chauffeur up at his brother's house. The man looked him up and down and snorted.

"Not quite the man I was expecting, but if you're as good as people are saying I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. His lordship is looking for someone to both drive and maintain the vehicle, that mean appropriate dress and manner around the masters and their guests, is that clear?"

Dean just nodded, he had assumed he would just work with a few other guys like he had done back home, he never expected to be invited to go and live at a big house as a _chauffeur _of all things. The Brits were an odd bunch. He smirked, what would his brother think.

"His lordship want you there as soon as possible, he is currently stuck with a machine he can neither understand nor use," he rolled his eyes, it seemed to Dean that 'his lordship' was often like that, "You'll need to get the train to Northampton, when you get there tell them Robert Singer sent you, they'll set you straight."

With that he left, Dean grinned, finally things were looking up, everything was going to be ok now, he could just feel it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the interest guys, I know no one has written any reviews yet but just the fact that some of you have favourited and followed is just amazing. Thanks again!**

I don't own anything, Dean et al all belong to the Supernatural writers and all that!

Music Note – Vaughan Williams (again) – A Pastoral Symphony

The journey to Northampton was a relatively short one, though the transition from smoky city to vibrant countryside was startling, now Dean could see where the poets got their inspiration. The fields were an array of greens and golds spattered with dark patches of woodland and tiny villages, their chimneys smoking sleepily. But while the countryside was beautiful what really took Dean's breath away was Castle Ashby Manor itself. The man Robert Singer had told Dean about took him in a horse and trap to the house, the avenue itself was impressive, there were oaks and walnuts lining the road, which was so long that you couldn't see the house until you were almost there. The house was like nothing Dean had ever seen before, it was vast and had more rooms than he could have imagined, they passed the manicured lawn and the front and the trap went around the back. They pulled up outside the stables, Robert was standing waiting, he took his cap off and scratched his balding head as Dean climbed out of the trap.

"Mr Singer"

"Call me Bobby, please"

Dean smiled, he liked him, he had often been told that he was a good judge of character and if he wasn't mistaken Bobby was a good man.

"Bobby, I only got the clothes on my back and what's in this sac but I'd appreciate if I could put them somewhere."

"Servants' quarters are round the side, downstairs, Ellen is the Lady's maid, she'll point you in the right direction. When you're done come straight back out, you have work to do."

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

Bobby set him a few tasks around the stables, they talked a lot, Dean was reluctant at first but soon found that getting a lot of stuff off his chest was just what he needed. He talked about Sam, how they had been left destitute after their father had died and why he came over here to get work. Dean learned that Bobby had been the Compton's stable master for nearly twenty years, he knew the family well and was fiercely loyal but worried a lot about the future.

"There were originally three Compton brothers, Michael, Nicholas and Gabriel, but when they were younger Nicholas died, Michael retreated into his studies and Gabriel to his brothels and social events. This is now Michael's house, technically, and Gabriel had moved out but when he and his fiancé broke off their engagement he moved back here. Michael is rarely around any more, he married some ghastly socialite from London and so spends most of his time down there, and now little Castiel has come to stay indefinitely … I don't know what to do with the boys!"

Dean's heart ached for the man, even though he was a servant and the 'boys' were practically royalty he had watched them growing up and felt protective of them like a father would.

"Who is Castiel?"

Bobby looked up, "Their cousin, about your age I'd say, half Russian on his father's side. He was some Baron Novak, I never liked him, cold and distant, but the boy is different, he is often in a world of his own but he used to love the horses." He smiled wistfully, "Gentle soul that one."

Bobby shook his head and sighed, "I'm sorry for rambling, you're easier to talk to than I find comfortable" he snorted derisively, "You watch yourself, boy, you're a good lad but you'll have to keep an eye on your tongue and your temper, especially if Lord Michael gets back any time soon."

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

Castiel had decided to take a walk around the grounds with Michael's dog, a beautiful border collie bitch with a good temperament. He smiled as he bent down to scratch her behind the ears. The late summer light was shining through the branches with a warm, muted glow. He had loved these woods as a child, they had offered him the escape that he so often craved, especially when the house had been in mourning. Although he had never been all that close with Nicholas, his death had torn his family apart. Michael was most affected, they had been thick as thieves, rarely separated they were always causing trouble. It was usually Nicholas' idea though which was why he had been the first out on the ice. He shuddered, he could remember that day so vividly. What stuck most in his mind was the scream that had erupted from Michael. Castiel was only about ten years old and to him Michael, who was sixteen at the time, was practically an adult, a child hearing an adult scream is something that never leaves them, it was then that he realised that all that knowledge and protection that adults give children is just a façade. The dog whined, breaking his train of thought, he smiled gently and continued walking. Leaves and twigs crunched under his feet as he delved deeper into the woods, one crack disturbed a thrush, it sang out in alarm as it fled from the undergrowth. The dog barked with surprise and delight at this new excitement as she ran off into the trees. Castiel laughed and chased after her.

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

Dean stopped and leaned against his pitchfork, he could hear a dog barking in the distance and smiled, he loved dogs, he and Sammy had never been able to afford to keep one, but they played with the strays in their neighbourhood whenever they were around. The barking got louder, he turned around to see a black and white dog bounding towards him out of the trees. He knelt down, grinning as the dog ran into his arms, she licked his face and barked cheerfully. He rubbed her back and tummy, reducing her to a squirming pile of fur on the floor. He laughed out loud, "Who are you then?"

"Her name is Ruby" said a voice from behind him.

Dean glanced up at the man standing over him, he was wearing a tan coloured coat and a blue scarf, he had a slightly crooked smile, pale skin and dark hair, but it was his eyes that made his breath catch in his throat. He had a piercing, inquisitive stare, his eyes an ethereal blue, bright as ice but warm as well. He felt his face colour.

"Err … nice name, she yours?"

He had a deep throaty chuckle, "No, but she needed some attention, we were walking when she ran off."

His accent was hard to place for Dean, it wasn't English but it he spoke as though he had been speaking English all of his life. "Wait, are you …"

"Castiel!" another voice called, Bobby and a blonde haired man was walking towards them, "Cas …" he paused and glanced at Dean, "And you are?"

"That's Dean Winchester milord" Bobby nodded towards him

The man's eyebrows shot up, "So you're the new chauffeur! I have to say I was expecting something different, and they weren't kidding when they said you were a Yank!" He laughed, "You could say I'm your new boss," he stuck out a hand, "Gabriel Compton."

"Pleased to meet you" he shook his hand, Bobby coughed "sir?"

Bobby slapped the back of his head "My Lord, you Yank, his Lordship is a viscount not some guy you met in the village!"

Gabriel smiled wryly, "He is a little rough around the edges, we'll need to work on you before you're ready to be driving anyone important around," he turned to Bobby, "Thank you Bobby, I'll drop by later to see how he's getting along"

He turned to Castiel who was absentmindedly scratching Ruby's ears, "Castiel, we shall need to get dressed for dinner, I promised Lady Berkeley that I would introduce you to her daughters."

Dean saw Castiel flush pink, he glanced up at him then quickly looked back at his feet and sighed, "I'll be with you in just a moment"

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

As Castiel had come running out of the trees he was surprised to see Ruby jump up at a young man standing by the stables, he was a good half a hand taller than himself, he had his sleeves rolled up, he had obviously been working vigorously as he had a sheen of sweat on his brow. His skin was tanned with a few light scars on his arms, his hair was a dark sandy colour and his smile lit up his whole face, Cas couldn't help but smile with him. He had such a relaxed demeanour it was hard not to get swept up in it. He had the dog on the ground and was rubbing her stomach playfully.

"Who are you then?" his voice had an American twang, Castiel was taken aback slightly, he hadn't expected that.

"Her name is Ruby" he replied

The man looked up, his eyes were a startling green, full of vigour and life, he felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. They stood there, just looking at each other for a few seconds before the man coughed slightly, his cheeks flushing a little. Castiel felt an unfamiliar tightness in his chest at that.

"Nice name, is she yours?"

He replied that she wasn't, but in that moment he wished that she was, just so as to continue the conversation. The man's forehead creased slightly in thought, he looked up as if to say something when he heard Gabriel call his name.

It turned out the man's name was Dean Winchester, the American chauffeur with an apparent lack of understanding when it came to aristocracy. He could tell that Bobby liked him though, he had an endearing look on his face as he slapped the back of his head.

As he was walking back to the house with Ruby he couldn't help but glance back, there was something about those eyes …


	3. Chapter 3

**So this chapter is a little lame, sorry about that, it's more of a filler chapter but there's better stuff to come I promise! Thanks for the continued interest and the reviews, they are really appreciated!**

**I don't own anything!**

**Music Note – Dario Marianelli - Dawn & The Living Sculptures of Pemberly**

A week passed fairly uneventfully before Castiel saw Dean again, Gabriel had insisted on them taking the Berkeley sisters for a picnic and taking the car. He would have much preferred to walk but Gabriel had informed him that Dean had been provided with appropriate uniform now and he had been making sure that the vehicle was running smoothly especially for the occasion. Castiel sighed as he put on his trench coat, it was a warm day but he just didn't feel right around people without his coat, it gave him a sense of security, it still smelled like home. Gabriel trotted downstairs in his cricket whites and a light jumper, he frowned at Castiel's attire but said nothing, shaking his head. As they left the house he saw that Dean had already brought the car around and was waiting with the door open. Castiel inhaled sharply, he was dressed in all black, his jacket buttoned tightly up to his neck and his cap tilted to cover his eyes, his shoes had been buffed to within an inch of their lives. He looked starkly different in comparison to when they had first met in the yard that day. He coughed self-consciously as Gabriel greeted Dean and got into the car. Dean looked up at Cas and smiled warmly, Castiel blushed in a very emasculate manner and averted his eyes, he felt the tightness in his chest again as he closed the door.

Dean was a good driver, the ride was a lot smoother than Castiel had expected and it was nice to feel the breeze on his skin. Gabriel was paying little attention to his surroundings, more concerned about the company they would soon be having. Castiel had never cared for female company, other than his sister, he found conversation tiring and all the women ever wanted to do was talk. They picked up the sisters not long afterwards, the youngest of whom blushed furiously as Dean helped her into the car. Castiel felt an uncomfortable warmth in the pit of his stomach and frowned slightly at the giggling woman.

They drove north and stopped at the foot of a small hill that overlooked the canal system. The women sauntered arm in arm up the hill while Castiel and Gabriel walked behind, followed by Dean with the picnic supplies.

Dean was sweltering in his uniform, he absent-mindedly tugged at the fabric around his neck, he would have loved to roll up his sleeves, undo his collar and get out of his ridiculous shoes. The heat was nothing compared to back in Kansas, but in Kansas it was dry heat and everyone dressed for the temperature, this was just ridiculous! He sighed, setting down the basket on the grass, he took the blanket out from under his arm, unrolled it and laid it out. Gabriel and the two sisters sat down, Dean looked up to see Castiel standing on the brow of the hill looking out over the canals and surrounding woodland. The warm wind was blowing through his hair and made his coat billow out behind him. He had a wistful look on his face, his brows slightly furrowed in thought. Dean knew what he had been told, he often had a problem with authority so he had been reciting the rules in his head every night, so adamant that he would not ruin this opportunity.

_Always stand still when being spoken to by a better, never begin to talk to ladies and gentlemen, only speak when spoken to, and servants should never offer any opinion to their employers._

He muttered them under his breath, he was so used to being the big brother, he found it difficult not to do something about the worried look growing on the young man's face. His brother often had that look when he was troubled, he would smile and laugh and pretend he was fine, but Dean always knew when there was something up. He chewed his lip and tugged at his collar again.

Gabriel eyed Dean as he looked over at his cousin with concern. There were many things troubling Castiel, Gabriel knew that, but it wasn't the _chauffeur's_place to ask. He continued to watch tentatively, hoping that he wouldn't have to say anything.

Castiel was lost in thought, how could a day be this beautiful when his father and sister were knee deep in trouble back in Russia. He didn't even know where they would be to telegram them. He was very close to Anna and the lack of contact was beginning to worry him a little. He became vaguely aware of a figure watching him, he glanced back to see Dean staring at him, chewing his lip. Castiel cocked his head to the side, there was a look of concern clouding the young man's features. It wasn't often that anyone was concerned about him. Sure, Gabriel was worried in his own way, but he could just tell that Dean was itching to say something. It wasn't proper for servants to offer opinions to their betters, he knew that, but he couldn't just walk up to him and tell him what was on his mind. For that matter, why did he want to talk to the chauffeur about his problems, they were far bigger than the young man standing in front of him knew. They looked at each other for a few seconds before Dean coughed uncomfortably and Castiel decided to inspect a mark on his left shoe.

Dean shifted uncomfortably as he saw Castiel walk towards him. He paused in front of him, still looking at the ground. Leaning in he said softly, "Thank you … for your concern." He continued walking and sat down next to one of the women. Dean glanced back to see Gabriel frowning at him, one of the girls drew his attention away, his face broke out into a toothy grin betraying none of his former dark thoughts. Dean glanced briefly at Castiel before looking back down at the ground.

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

The group had decided to depart as the clouds came in, deeming the possibility of rain too great a risk for their picnic. Dean gathered up their things and made his way back to the car, his thoughts on the strange exchange from earlier. The rain just about held off until their return to the manor, Gabriel and Castiel hurried into the house as the heavens opened, Dean drove the car around the back and stood in the garage for a moment. The car was covered in dust from the road and spattered with rain, he would need to give it a good clean before tomorrow. Rolling his shoulders and stretching he set to work. He unbuttoned his coat and hung it up on a nail, it felt good to get out of it. He pushed the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows and dunked the rag into the bucket Bobby had left for him. Dean smiled, the man was thoughtful and darn good company as well.

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

Later that evening he was lying in his room when there was a soft rap at his door. He slid out of bed and opened it just a crack. Ms Harvelle was standing on the other side.

Dean greeted her as he opened the door fully, "Good evening Ms Harvelle"

"Mr Winchester" she nodded slightly and smiled, "After hours you can call me Ellen, I won't bite, I promise." She held out a letter she had been holding, "This arrived for you earlier today but I didn't catch you at breakfast."

"I was working on the car, I didn't have time for breakfast."

Ellen frowned, "You should always make time for breakfast Mr Winchester, it's important for you to be able to function properly throughout the day."

Dean nodded and took the letter, thanking her as he closed the door. He looked down at the letter and grinned, the address was undoubtedly in Sam's handwriting. Tearing open the envelope and unfolding the paper he began to read.

_Hey Dean,_

_It was so great to hear from you, I can't believe you work for an Earl! Samuel didn't believe me when I told him, he said something about you being a good-for-nothing, but I knew you'd do well for yourself over there. It must be so exciting, everything is much the same over here, Samuel is taking me to Church every Sunday now, I told him that we don't do that but he insists. School is going well, thanks again for the money, I managed to buy some new school shoes, my other ones had holes in them. I think I've decided what I want to do when I leave school, I want to be a lawyer. I would have to go to college, it takes three years but then I would be able to pay you back all the money you've given me! I can't wait to hear from you again._

_Your loving brother,_

_Sam W_.

Dean rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand, he missed his brother, they were best friends, they had been through so much together and being apart from him was something new and not something he was happy about. He had hated leaving Sam with Samuel. Samuel was his maternal grandfather but he had never once lifted a finger for them. He had blamed their father for her death and only agreed to help out after he died. Even then he had been stubborn about the amount of help he was willing to give.

_The boy can stay under my roof, eat from my table but he gets nothing more. I will take him to Church, he will be a god-fearing Christian and will have none of your influence. He will grow up to be good like his mother. Not some dirty heathen like you and your father._

He had spat that last word out like it had left a bad taste in his mouth. That was the last time they had spoken before he left for England. If he had it his way he would never see that smug bastard ever again, but he needed him, Sam needed him. Dean sighed and collapsed back into bed.

**Again sorry for the lame chapter! I hope you guys are still interested!**


	4. Chapter 4

**So sorry this took so long! I hope you guys had a good Christmas and New Year! This was a bit of a struggle since I found myself writing later chapters first and having no inspiration for the ones in between but here we are. A little bit shorter but a little bit fluffier (I hope) I would also like to point out that I know little to nothing about horses so if there is anything wrong just let me know!**

**DISCLAIMER ... I still don't own any of these characters or get any money from them!**

**No particular music notes this week, just something nice, maybe some Einaudi?  
**

_**spn-spn-spn-spn**_

As August gave way to a blustery September Dean found himself spending more time in the stables with Bobby. While Gabriel would often request he drive him into town, his cousin still preferred to walk and Dean often ended up with time to kill. He found that despite his gruff exterior, the older man was very paternal and easy to talk to. Even when his dad had been around he had never been one for having a father figure but Bobby made him feel welcome, was good conversation and enjoyed teaching him things (even if he did get easily frustrated). Another reason Dean loved the stables was the horses. Dean had always loved horses, he loved their musty smell, he and Sam had often snuck into stables when they were sleeping rough, it was always warm and dry and so long as they were out by the time the sun was up it was the safest place to spend a night or two. He smiled as he patted the velvety nose of the chestnut filly in front of him, she was young but very strong and a little flighty at times, but Dean thought she was beautiful. He had always wanted to work with horses, and it had been his plan, but his build and general handyman skills had always got him the fixer-upper jobs, dealing with the carts rather than the horses.  
He unlatched the stable door and slowly led the filly out, she could do with a good stretch. He turned around to get the bridle and bit from the stable when he heard a voice behind him. The horse startled.

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

Castiel let out a very emasculate scream as the horse reared up in front of him.

"Woah there girl! Woah! Hey Cas are you alright?"

Dean placed his hands on the young horse's neck and made gentle nickering noises, soothing the skittish horse. When he turned back around Castiel was still shaking. He put his arm out to help him up, the younger man just stared at it then back at Dean.

"C..cas?" his blue eyes still full of fear and confusion.

Dean cursed under his breath, "I'm sorry sir, my Lord, I didn't mean to be so informal" He blushed and looked down, lowering his hand back to his side.

Cas shook his head and got himself shakily to his feet, brushing himself down as he went, "Dean, you misunderstand me, I … I … that's just … that's what my sister calls me, I wasn't … I don't mind you being informal, sometimes it's nice to forget one's social standing." He smiled gently, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

Dean looked back up and smiled back wryly, "I suppose it must get tiring at times, being so important." He coughed and scuffed his foot, "So … not fond of horses?"

Castiel flushed and laughed nervously, "No, I fell off once when I was younger, I broke my arm and bruised a few ribs, I have been terrified of them ever since. I have barely touched one in ten years! They just don't like me."

Dean laughed, "You just startled her, they can smell your fear you know. Horses are gentle, 'specially this little beauty" he patted the horse affectionately, "she is young, a little spirited and _very _jumpy, but she has the nicest nature, give her a few oats, an apple or two and she will be the best friend you've ever had." He offered Castiel his hand, "Look, let me show you."

The young Russian relaxed a little and stepped towards him, Dean smiled back and slowly lead the horse towards Castiel. He screwed up his eyes and flinched as Dean took his hand. "Gently now, gently…" he took his hand and laid it on her soft muzzle "…shh shh shh … there you go, see, that wasn't so hard was it?"

Cas opened one eye and looked the animal up and down cautiously before gingerly moving his hand up her face. He scoffed, a smile growing on his face, it grew until he was grinning ear to ear, "Dean, she likes me, she isn't angry or afraid of me!" he laughed in disbelief and patted the horse's neck softly, "Thank you Dean."

Dean grinned, "My pleasure, now all we've got to do is get you in the saddle!"

Cas felt all the colour drain from his face, the taller man slapped him on the shoulder reassuringly, "Only when you're ready, I'll be happy to help if you ever feel the inclination to take it up again."

He turned to the American and smiled, there was something warm and reassuring about Dean Winchester, none of the cold formality with which he was regarded by the rest of the household staff. He supposed it was due to his heritage, all of the other staff had been brought up with full knowledge of the aristocratic hierarchy, whereas this man had never had that, all his smiles were genuine.

"Gabriel would have a fit if he knew we were being so familiar," his smile was sad as he glanced down at his feet, there was an awkward silence. Dean had almost forgotten for a second who he had been talking to.

"Yeah, uh ... speaking of which, I should err ... deal with ..." he gestured towards the horse and smiled apologetically.

"Indeed, I should be getting back, it might be therapeutic but I mustn't forget my place entirely," he sighed, "Good day and ... thank you again ... Mr Winchester."

Dean faltered slightly and swallowed thickly, "My Lord." he gave a low bow as the Russian turned to walk away.

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

**Again, sorry that was so short, hope it was ok though, your reviews have been so lovely! Thanks for taking the time to read this, it means a lot!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, I'm on a roll, I've written a few more chapters so I should be updating pretty soon. This is a little gritty in parts but hopefully I've explained it well enough. I love how many new followers I got in the last two chapters, it means a lot that you are interested! Reviews are also much appreciated!**

**Disclaimer: As per usual I own none of these lovely people**

_**spn-spn-spn-spn**_

September blew by and beckoned in the October rains, Castiel had taken to locking himself in the library, he much preferred the company of books to anyone else. The only time he ventured outside was to visit the stables, while it was often to talk to Bobby he found himself seeking Dean's company. They never talked about anything important but it was refreshing, he could forget about Russia, forget about Anna and forget about Gabriel and his insistent nagging about social events and meeting women. Gabriel had it in his mind to find Castiel a wife.

_"Castiel, you are still young and very eligible, you are nearly twenty, prime age for marriage, it means you will have a good pick of women, the older ones will be particularly desperate for your attention."_

He sighed, he knew his cousin meant well but he really had far more important things going on in his life. It had been two months and he had still heard nothing from Anna, he had found himself glued to the newspapers, scouring the pages for any revelations concerning the state of affairs in Russia. So far there had been nothing. The Bulgarians and the Ottomans had successfully signed a treaty, the Irish were getting restless, but the Russians were silent. He sighed, folded the paper and rubbed his eyes. The library was warm and the smell of old paper and binding glue was comforting. The sky outside was a dark, foreboding grey and the rain was lashing against the window, Cas missed being able to go for walks in the grounds, he missed the fresh air, the sound of the wind in the trees. He sighed again and flipped the newspaper open absentmindedly. He decided to go out to the stables later in the day, even if no one was there he had developed a certain fondness for the horses of late.

There was a rapping on the door. Castiel looked up to see a familiar face at the door. He had close-cropped, dusty blonde hair, he hadn't shaved recently but it still looked manicured, his eyes a familiar smiling blue.

"Balthazar!" his face lit up at the sight of his favourite cousin, he was a good ten years older than him but they had always been best friends, as close as brothers in fact. "I didn't think you were back from Paris until next Tuesday!"

"I thought I'd come back early, surprise you." The older man embraced him and slapped him on the back, "It's good to see you, it's been a few months, how are things back home?"

Castiel's smile faltered, he moved a piece of paper on the desk distractedly, "I was going to ask you the same question, I wish I knew."

Balthazar looked at him sympathetically, "Still nothing from Anna? Your father I'd understand, he never seems to keep in contact with anyone but Anna is usually good with letters. Have you tried telephoning?"

Castiel nodded resolutely, he had called St Petersburg, Moscow, even a few of his father's family in Omsk. No one had heard anything, and any political news was talked about in hushed voices or not mentioned at all.

"Chin up Cassie, it'll be fine, you'll see, it can't be worse than Ireland, and if we can keep _them _at bay, your lot should have no problem!" He laughed half-heartedly and clapped him on the shoulder again. "Now! Where does Mikey keep the sherry, I'm parched!"

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

Several glasses of sherry later Balthazar had put the record player on and was dancing to some Irving Berlin. He had just started to sing tunelessly with Castiel giggling ridiculously in his chair when Gabriel sauntered in.

"You started the party without me? I'm offended!" He winked at Cas and steadied Balthazar, gripping his arm, "Balthy! As fantastic as it is to have you back, old chap, I have to entertain a countess tomorrow and I'd rather like to be well rested so if you wouldn't mind refraining from destroying the furniture and keeping the servants up, that would be fantastic." He turned to Cas and lowered his voice, "Castiel, would you mind keeping an eye on him?"

Castiel just nodded. Gabriel smiled and walked out. Balthazar shrugged collapsed into the armchair next to him and sighed deeply.

"I have missed your company Castiel, I feel myself around you, I know I can trust you."

The younger man was a little perturbed by where this was going, happy and drunk he could deal with, this was a little different.

"Cassie, I have something I need to tell you, and …" he bit his lower lip and frowned, "…you're not going to like it."

The young Russian felt himself sobering up a little with his growing concern.

"Castiel, you have to understand, this is me, this has always been me, and it doesn't change anything!"

Balthazar was rambling, this was not good.

"I'm going back to France."

He frowned, a little confused, was this the big and terribly life changing news? He was in France every few months, he was practically native.

"I mean … I'm moving to France. Soon. I'm only here for a month or so to get my affairs together and then I'm off. Not Paris, it's a little too conspicuous there, somewhere warmer, down south. Maybe the Loire, or the Vendee, warm but not full of people I might know!"

There was a pregnant pause.

"Why?"

The Englishman ran a hand through his hair and rubbed his neck, he looked tired.

"I've fallen in love."

He scoffed, "Love? Then why can't she move over here, with your family? We have no French family, what will you do for money?"

Balthazar put his face in his hands and shook his head, "No, Castiel, you don't understand! We can't move over here, over there we can be together, over here … it's impossible."

"How? If you love her why should it matter, love is love, it's very _impossible_!"

A tired laugh escaped his cousin's lips, "Oh Cassie, think for a minute, please! We can't be together over here because no one would approve of him, they'd think it was perverse or wrong … Castiel I'm in love with a man!"

The room was quiet, the only sounds were the gentle clicking of the record player ticking over and the crackling of the dying fire. His jaw was slack as he processed the information. A man, Balthalzar was in love with a _man_. As strange a concept as it was, the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He had always flirted with women, courted even, but he had never been involved with anyone. He was thirty and had never once broached the subject of marriage. Maybe that was why Gabriel was so insistent that he find a wife, maybe he was afraid that he would turn out like Balthazar? What if he was like Balthazar? He had never liked the company of women, he had never fallen in love, never felt the need to touch or kiss a woman …

He had never thought about it like that, he had never thought that he could ever love anyone, he just felt that he was awkward and unsociable and not made to love but maybe he had been looking at love in the wrong way. What if love was just love and the constraints that society placed upon it weren't important? What if he had been in love before but had never been able to recognise it?

What was he thinking?! Men lying with men as with women was wrong! It was illegal over here and back home it was never spoken of and was severely frowned upon. What would his father say ...

His father wouldn't say anything! This wasn't happening, it wasn't true! He didn't have feelings for other men, that was absurd! He was just in shock, over-thinking things because of Balthazar. But then ... Balthazar had said that it had always been him, that he had always loved men? If that was true then that didn't change who he was, he was still the same person he always had been. How many people in his life had been unhappy, persecuted for their love and Castiel had never even known?

His head was spinning, he couldn't tell if it was the heat, the alcohol or everything going on in his head. He swallowed and looked up at his cousin.

"I'm happy for you."

Balthazar looked up, he furrowed his brow, searching Castiel's face for some sort of insincerity. He found none. His face split into a dazzling grin and tears welled up in his eyes.

"Thank you Cassie, thank you, this means more to me than you could ever know!"

After that Balthazar dissolved into a mess of tears and thanks, Castiel helped him to his room before retiring to his own room. His mind was racing, thoughts buzzing around in his head. He sighed, this was going to be a long night.

**Thanks for reading folks! That was an interesting chapter to write, I was trying to get across how sheltered a life Castiel had. I'm of the opinion that you don't just turn gay, it isn't a choice and it's often a very painful discovery (I'm not gay myself but I have close family who have been through it and it's never as simple as it seems) Anyway, that was a little bit deep, the next chapter shouldn't be that bad, I just needed to get some of the internal turmoil feelings stuff out of the way first. Hope you enjoyed it anyway!**


End file.
